Short Story - Pick up line

This story finds a young couple, from one of our possible futures, waking up to the consequences, or perhaps the lack thereof, from their amorous encounter the night before.

Audio and written version below:

Pick up Line

It had been a good night. 

Connor couldn't quite remember all of it, but if what he thought had happened, happened, it had been a very good night. For a moment he feared he might just have been having a particularly dirty dream, but then he looked to his left, and the raven haired girl he had met at the bar was indeed sleeping naked next to him.

To his right he was suddenly aware of two huge metallic robots. He instantly recognized them, anyone would. ‘Sentinels’ the visitors called them. General security droids of death employed to protect the new rulers of earth. It was said they could vaporize a man completely.

They were larger than they looked on TV. Floating chunks of some space age metal, all shiny and angular, like upside down triangles, or a wedge down as it were.  The small rotating cube that floated a few inches above like some form of loosely associated head was glowing softy as it was breathing light in and out. The soft blue glow lit up the doorway that they were currently blocking.

For some reason he wanted to grab his underwear. It appeared to be hanging from the corners of one of Sentinels. He presumed it was probably unwise to attempt to retrieve them just yet. Might be good to know what exactly he had done wrong before making any sudden movement towards the alien death robots.

 He did not remember them being there last night. He had probably had at least one too many. He;d considered the raven haired girl a notch or two above his usual type, so he had relied on a little dutch courage, but still, he thought he might have remembered metallic death robots following him home.

The raven haired girl woke up, stretched her arms out and shrugged off the cover. The two Sentinels were presumably now staring directly at her now very uncovered breasts. If they had eyes that was. Maybe just sensors, he didn't know, and wasn't about to ask.

“Morning,” she smiled, seemingly not fazed by their new companions. 

Connor just pointed towards the door. He handed her a T-shirt trying to preserve her modesty. 

"Oh don't mind them, they have to follow me everywhere.” She said calmly, “Trust me, they have seen everything. They see me in the shower, in the bath, they see me ... well ... doing what we did last night."

His eyes widened, " ... last night?"

"Oh yes, I said they have to follow me everywhere right? That means everywhere."

" ... but last night?"

"Cloaked, keeping a discreet distance. Amazing technology, it makes them invisible to the human eye. It's quite cool really once you get over the whole creepy voyeuristic element to it. It allows me to at least imagine I have some fleeting privacy."

 "So they saw everything?"


"When we ... "

She nodded with a smile.

"When I ... "

"Yes Connor, everything."

“Excuse me for asking, maybe obvious to you, but I’m a little behind here. Why are they here?”

“Protecting me of course.”

“So you are important?”

“You could say that.”

“I’m not going to want to ask am I?”

“Oh go on, I love this part.” The raven haired girl beamed.

“Those are Sentinels," Conor started, stating the obvious,  "so you must be one of those people that the visitors chose to become rulers right?”

She nodded. “Yes, I guess you could say that.”

“You’re not …”

“I might be.”

“The supreme …”

She nodded, with the same wicked grin that he’d liked so much the night before.

“Shit.” Connor couldn't help himself.

“Not what I was hoping for, but not the worst I’ve heard.”

“And they watch you everywhere?”

“Everywhere, I’m never out of their sight.”

"Big brother and a half is that," Connor sighed, rubbing his forehead, "look, anything I said last night. Christ I can't even remember what I said last night. Whatever cheesy crap I said, please, just forget about it."

"Don't worry, I don't usually have them carve off any sexual appendages out of spite."


She smiled again, chuckling slightly, "sorry, can't resist. The power does go to your head a little you know, despite it all." She leaned in and kissed him gently on the forehead, "don't sweat it honey, I had fun, let's just leave it at that. You have not offended the imperial hive mind ... and me? Well I'm pretty hard to offend."

"So you really are ... "

"Yup," She nodded as she retrieved her jeans from the piles of clothing scattered around the bed, before pulling them up her legs, wiggling slightly, "I am."

"Supreme leader of the earth and all that ... "

"That’s me.”

“Ahh Crap, last night,” He sunk his head into his hands, “we even talked about the Supreme leader being a man didn't we?”

“We might have. Or rather you spoke about ’him’, or should that be ‘me’, being a man.”

“I might remember arguing, fairly strongly I vaguely recall, that it had to be a man.”

“You might have, yes.”

"I just presumed"

"Of course you did."

“ … am I in trouble?”

“Do you have any sexually transmitted disease?” The raven haired girl who was the supreme ruler of humanity asked.

“what?" Connor stammered, "… no … of course not.”

“Don’t worry. I knew that.” She smiled.

“You did?”

“They scanned you before you even started fumbling with my bra.” She smiled gesturing towards the metallic sentinels.

“They did?”

“Standard practice. Can’t be too careful you know.”

“Yet they let you pick up strangers in bars?”

“Well, they don’t like it," she conceded, "but they have to do what I say. It’s kind of cool really.”

"Can I ask a question?" Connor asked.

The raven hair girl who was the supreme ruler of humanity just smiled again and nodded.

"Did you really work in a call center? They always say that the supreme leader was ‘one of us’ and all. I mean before they came, you were a normal human being?  That you truly were picked at random ... wait … sorry, that was more than one question." Connor stopped, suddenly worried about whether the alien death robots were pedantic about such things.

"Yes, yes ... and yes." She smiled.

"Wow, so it's actually true? Mind blown."

"Pretty sure I still am anyway." She smirked raising an eyebrow, "a normal human being that is. Everything else I said last night was true too. Don't you think if I was making up a back story to be attractive to a guy I'd shoot for something more exciting than having sold insurance."

"Selling insurance is pretty normal."

"I'm a pretty normal girl."

"Who just happens to hold supreme and unrestricted power over every living soul on earth?"

"Yup … hold a second ... are you disappointed?"

"Can I even start to answer that right now ..."

"Oh don't worry, I promise my big walking metal warriors of doom over there won't injure you in any way."

"I wasn't going to be negative," Connor assured her, looking nervously at the sentinels, "just not what I was expecting this morning is all."

"I don't expect so."

"Do you do this often?" Connor asked.

"A girl has urges too you know."

"Of course, of course, no offense and all."

"None taken."

"... but you just used me for sex?"

"I'd be careful before you stray into the territory of possibly calling the Appointed Supreme Justicar and Exalted Officiant of the United Peoples of Earth a slut now Connor, don't you think?"

"Now that is not what I was saying. Wasn't judging." Connor waved his hand frantically, before lying back again as he saw her wide grin beaming back at him, "I think I could get to like you.”

“Get to like me?” she raised an eyebrow.

“I mean other than the sex.”

“Now that I will take as a compliment.”

“Thanks,” Connor smiled, “I guess it's kind of a compliment for me too. Supreme leader of the planet choosing me to relieve her sexual tension and all." he almost cracked one of his smiles from the night before.

"Don't get cocky." She laughed.

"I'm not usually."

"That's what they all say."

“No really, I’m not. I’d like to state that for the record.”

“Everything we are saying is on the record,” she smiles, “they record everything.”

One of the metallic sentinels moved forward, it seemed to hover, seemingly without any sound, its huge frame simply floating silently across the floor. A small pad appeared from its side and dropped into her hands.

“What’s that?”

“The full report on you.”


“Just want to make sure you aren't the stalking type. Security and all that. You also can’t tell anyone about this, or these guys would have to be a bit more interactive next time you see them. Trust me, most people don’t want there to be a next time.”

“I wouldn't have minded seeing you again … “ Connor almost mumbled, “doesn't make me a stalker.”

She leaned over and kissed his forehead, “Very cute.”

“What else does that things say.”

“Standard stuff, brief bio, family tree, bank balances, criminal records, DNA profile … you know regular stuff … internet history, porn habits.”

“What? Really?” Connor wasn't sure what would constitute a problem there, but didn't entirely trust the judgement of alien death robots when it came to his occasional urges.

“You’re pretty clean. Good prospects I see,” She runs her finger down the pad, “Oh,#she exclaimed, pausing briefly, "I wouldn't have guessed that. You didn't mention that last night.”

“I don’t know what you .. “ Connor started.

“Niche interest I guess," she interrupted him, "guess that's more a second date thing huh?” She laughed. “I wonder if we have a particular name for the shade of red you just turned.”

“I don’t …”

“Hush now, don’t sweat it, far from the worst I have seen. You are no politician. Trust me, those guys .. gheeez … although you would be amazed, it makes negotiations surprisingly easier when you can tease a man about his sexual preferences …”


“Stories I could tell.”

“ .. but you aren't going to are you?”

“With you? No, afraid not.” She finished scrolling down the pad and handed it back to the sentinel. It seemed to be absorbed back into the robots body, as if it were made of liquid metal. “anyway, I have to get going. I only get the morning off, part of the deal.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.” The raven haired girl who was the supreme ruler of humanity smiled.

“You should quit looking for one night stands at bar’s Connor and ask out Lyndsey in accounting. She likes you too you know.”

“What?” Connor blurted, confused, "how do you know Lyndsey?"

“It’s in the report.”

“What? I mean ... how the …”

“I don’t fully understand how they know those ones to be honest, something to do with pheromones. They did try and explain once, but you know, some of the details of the science, whoosh, over my head.”

“I … she … wait, no, how the hell can they know that?” Connor asked.

“Look at all we've done since they arrived. You don’t think that was just luck do you?”

“I guess not … “

She pulled on her jacket, and got up to the door. 

“So this is it? Don’t you want some breakfast?” Connor offered.

“Not needed thanks.”

“Wait, but I don’t even remember your name! Did you even tell me? Christ was I that drunk? I mean other than Supreme ruler of the human race and all that.”

The supreme leader of the human race just smiled and blew him a kiss as the Metallic sentinels opened the door for her, "Don't call me, I'll call you."